Monkey Business
by Skymouth
Summary: The Monkey King is back and to insure he's never turned into wood again, he must marry into royalty. But when he finds his reluctant Queen, he also falls in love for the first time with someone else.
1. Default Chapter

Monkey Business  
Part I  
Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins  
A Jackie Chan Adventures Fanfic  
  
Rating: R Disclaimer: Jackie Chan and subsequent characters belong to Jackie Chan and associates. It'd be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I've made no profit nor will see any from this fic.  
  
Summary: The Monkey King is back and to insure he's never turned into wood again, he must marry into royalty. But when he finds his reluctant Queen, he also falls in love for the first time with someone else.  
  
(Author's note: This isn't in the same uni as my "You Made Me Beautiful: The Sequel/Little China Girl" series. Finn and Jade aren't lovers. I hope I can do the Monkey King some justice here. I'm feeling a bit daunted by the task! Please bear with me!)  
  
The Monkey King stretched hugely.  
  
"It's ali-I-I-I-ive!" He chortled in mock impersonation of Dr Frankenstein. The mischievous simian inhaled the air around him deeply, then choked and spluttered. "Huh, smoggy days are here again. But never fear world, for neither rain, nor snow, nor smog shall keep me from my duties! Speaking of duties... I have a certain archeologist to bury!"  
  
And he was off in search of the one who imprisoned him not once, but twice! How dare a lowly human try to keep him from performing his job! He was supposed to bring joy and laughter to the world! And Chan denied him that! How dare he! Well, he was never one to let someone get the last laugh over him.  
  
Meanwhile, Jade was glaring at the pile of dusty books that she couldn't even begin to understand or read the titles to.  
  
"But Uncle, how can I sort through these if I can't even READ them?" She whined.  
  
"Patience, Jade!" Uncle reminded her. "And besides, it's not how much you know, it's how much you DON'T know!"  
  
Jade's face screwed up feeling perplexed. "That doesn't make any sense." She muttered to herself but grabbed up a book and looked at the undecipherable spine. Well, this was gong to pretty much wreck her Saturday. Which meant she wasn't going to get to go to that children's museum opening of the Turbo Troll exhibit. Bummer. And Uncle Jackie and Tohru were out and about on an errand for Captain Black, so they couldn't rescue her from spending a dull day with Uncle and his musty old and boring books. She tried to think of a scheme to get out of that task.  
  
The phone rang and Jade jumped to answer.  
  
"Rare Finds!" She said habitually.  
  
"Jade?"  
  
"Jackie! You going to spring me?" Jade asked hopefully.  
  
"Jade, I need to speak to Uncle."  
  
Jade sighed. Jackie was being abrupt and that usually mean he was in trouble and she wasn't there to help him out! "What's wrong, Jackie?"  
  
"I can't tell you right now, Jade, I-OW! Cut that out!" That last bit sounded like he was talking to someone on his end.  
  
"Jackie?"  
  
"Look, Jade, just please, get Uncle!"  
  
Jade hurried to fetch the old man who grumbled at being interrupted.  
  
She watched the exchange, hoping she'd figure out what was wrong with Jackie, but Uncle only grunted and nodded and hummed and hawed. So she learned nothing new once Uncle hung up the phone. He looked troubled and was thoughtfully quiet for a moment then he turned to Jade.  
  
"I'm going out, yo-o-o-ou must watch shop while I'm away!" He gave her a slight scowl as a warning. "I will call e-e-ver-y day to make sure you stay put!"  
  
Jade felt her usual impertinence bubble to the surface, but she put on her best game face to fake out Uncle. "No worries, Uncle." She said too readily.  
  
Uncle quirked an eyebrow. He was leery of Jade's ready acceptance but he had no time to argue with her.  
  
"How long will you be gone?" She asked innocently.  
  
Uncle shrugged and replied rather crossly, "How should I know?"  
  
Jade's fake grin faltered a bit but she relented. "Have a good trip!"  
  
"Captain Black will be by to look after you while I'm gone." Uncle told her just before he left. When he went out, she groaned. Now she'd NEVER get a chance to get away what with Black around!  
  
It wasn't long before the director of Section 13 arrived. Jade was behind the counter feeling glum and sorry for herself.  
  
"Well now," Captain Black was all smiles as he sauntered in looking foolishly out of place for being a baby sitter in his usual black trench coat and agent garb. "Looks like we're going to be seeing quite a bit of each other the next few days." He said too brightly, trying to play on Jade's level, but never being too certain as to where that level really was. He usually turned out to be too patronizing for Jade's taste, though she knew he didn't know he was. Sometimes he just tried too hard and she just would grin and bear it best she could. Like now.  
  
"Sure looks that way." She replied back amiably.  
  
"So, hungry? Want me to fix something to eat? I make a killer burrito!" Black smiled, always feeling out of his element when he was left alone with the girl.  
  
Jade tried to smile, "Sure." Anything to get him away for a while. He moved off to the kitchen to fix his specialty. Black was a good friend and all, but right now she just didn't feel like having to put up with anyone treating her like a kid. "Why can't they treat me like anything more then just a kid?" She grumbled to herself.  
  
The door burst open and Jade, startled, looked up to see someone she never expected to see again. She gasped and stood up straight.  
  
"Monkey King! How'd you get free?" She asked nervously. Should she call for Captain Black? No! If she wanted to be treated like an adult, she had to be able to fend for herself!  
  
The simian sneered and whirled into the room. "Beats me! One moment I was drowning in that Jell-O mold o' death and the next, I was out!" He shrugged impatiently, "But that's not what perplexes me the most. What I don't get is why you and yours try to still the laughter! Don't you KNOW that laughter heals all wounds!"  
  
"I think that's TIME that heals all wounds."  
  
"Whatever, like I care!" The Monkey King said gruffly, "Didn't heal this wound right here, sweetheart!" He beat his chest, where his heart resided.  
  
Jade was pertinent, "What do you want?"  
  
"Chan! Where is he?"  
  
"Why should I tell you?" She responded petulantly. Not bothering to tell the sinful simian that she had no idea anyway.  
  
The simian leaned toward her from the other side of the counter, "Wise guy, huh? Well, two can play at that game!" In a flash the monkey whirled around and Jade suddenly found herself dressed in a dog suit. "Fetch! Go fetch, girl!" He whistled and threw a stick towards the door. "What's that Lassie? Uncle Chan's in trouble? Where is he, girl?"  
  
Jade scowled and crossed her arms. The dog suit made it difficult, "Ha ha. You want my help? You can forget it. I'm not going to let you hurt my Uncle Jackie."  
  
"Hurt him?" The King smiled sweetly, "What gave you THAT idea, silly? When did I ever say I was gonna hurt him?"  
  
"YOU did!"  
  
"Listen, KID!" The monkey leapt over the counter and grabbed her. "I'm NOT going back there! I'm never going to become that stupid puppet again! If you wont help me find your stupid uncle, then you can at least help me find a way to stay normal!"  
  
"Why should I help you?" She demanded pertly.  
  
The simian grinned a big toothy grin that wasn't at all friendly, "Because that's what all good boy scouts do!"  
  
"That's great, but I'm a girl, in case you missed it!"  
  
The Monkey King shook his head in agitation, "Look, what's it gonna hurt to do this one favor for me? Look, if you help me, I promise I won't go after your uncle."  
  
Jade considered that. There was no trusting the scoundrel. "What proof can you give me that you will keep your word?"  
  
That gave the ape some pause. Then he grinned again, "Come on, look at this face! How can you deny me?" His eyes widened and he shrunk until he was as cute as a chibi.  
  
Jade's scowl remained as she stared at the King who was doing his outright best to look enduring. "Fine. What do you suggest?"  
  
The ape looked downright pleased, which Jade didn't trust. "Well, your uncle has magic books, right? There's gotta be something in there to help me out."  
  
Jade sighed, "But where in the world would we begin to start? Do you KNOW how many books he has? And most of them are unintelligible!"  
  
The Monkey King scratched his chin between his beards thoughtfully. "Well, have you ever helped him categorize the books?"  
  
She nodded, cringing with the unpleasant memory, "Yeah, some. But it's not as if I knew what was in them."  
  
"I'm sure if we start looking we'll find something. Nothing's gonna happen if we just keep standing around here!" He said brightly.  
  
Jade coughed as he turned to go to the library. He turned back around. "What?"  
  
"Lassie." Her scowl was back full force as she reminded him she still wore the stupid dog suit.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" With a wave of the hand, she was in her normal clothes and the suit was gone. She was dying to know how he could do things like that but decided now wasn't a good time to ask, even though he seemed to be in a somewhat more charitable mood.  
  
It killed him having to be nice to the kid. But she wasn't going to give him what he wanted if he went about things as usual. So he'd play nice, as nice as he could stand as long as the kid was going along with him. It was all too easy. Except he'd give up his beard to play a trick, any trick upon her. But he knew if he did, she'd turn on him just as quickly.  
  
They set to looking through the collection of magic books Uncle had.  
  
"What exactly are we looking for?" Jade wondered after five minutes. She wondered what Black would do if he found the Monkey King hanging around? "We'd better hurry and find whatever it is."  
  
"Why's that?" The Monkey King asked, ever curious.  
  
"My babysitter would take exception to you being here is what."  
  
"Babysitter?" The Monkey King decided that best way to win her over was flattery, "YOU? You certainly proved to even me you can take care of yourself!"  
  
Jade nodded, "Yeah, but that's not how the adults see it."  
  
The Monkey King shook his head, seemingly empathetically. "Then the adults are crazier then I am!"  
  
Jade sighed and flipped through another book. Why should he be making sense all of a sudden? She wanted not to trust it, but at least he wasn't telling her she couldn't take care of herself. He was even asking for her help, something even Jackie never bothered to do. Which made her want to help him all the more, despite her trepidation.  
  
"Hey! I think I found something!" The Monkey King gushed.  
  
"Really?" That was fast, she thought to herself. "What?"  
  
"In order for me to have solid ties to this world, I gotta marry someone with the same background."  
  
Jade blinked, "You have to get married?" And she privately thought, who would marry you?  
  
The Monkey King didn't seem to be too pleased with that. "The ball and chain gang? That's not for me!" He sighed. "So, I gotta marry a Queen, huh?"  
  
"Where's it say you have to marry a Queen?"  
  
"Same background, kid, duh. I'm a King. Gotta marry a Queen." He paused, "Know any?"  
  
Jade half laughed, "You're kidding, right?"  
  
The Monkey King sighed. "Camille's a potential Queen, right?"  
  
Jade's laugh was more realistic, "I think she's already married to a Prince!"  
  
The Monkey King sneered, "Why settle for a Prince when you can have a King! I mean look at me! I'm all stud!" He dropped his books and quickly stood, and began flexing his muscles in body building fashion.  
  
Jade rolled her eyes, "Takes more then that to attract a woman."  
  
"What do you know? You're just a kid." The Monkey King grumbled. How dare she humiliate him like that!  
  
She flared, "Hey! I used to be a Queen! Queen of all Shadow Khan!" He was like all the rest of the adults, treating her like nothing more then a kid and she was sick of it!  
  
That caught his interests and he approached her slowly, "Queen huh? Hell, even defacto Queen should suffice!"  
  
When he grabbed her, only then did she realize her mistake at having told him that much. That was what she deserved for trusting him. That was what she deserved for blabbing out that business about being Queen.  
  
"Hello, my dear Queen! This should be an interesting honeymoon!"  
  
That's it. She screamed, "Captain Black!"  
  
The Monkey King had her under his arm and was about to hop out of the window of the library when Captain Black appeared with gun in hand.  
  
"Unhand the child!" He ordered fully expecting to be obeyed and inwardly thought, what in God's name IS that?  
  
"Sorry, Charley, Jade is my Queen now, go get your own!" He sneered at the man and hopped out the window in a flash before Captain Black could do anything to retaliate.  
  
The Monkey King lunged up to the roofs, his grip on his prize unbreakable. Jade thought she was going to be sick with all the leaping and lurching from roof to roof as the simian made his escape. He couldn't seriously think she'd go along with being his wife, did he? He really WAS crazy then! She shuddered to think what he had planned for her.  
  
It seemed they had been on the skyline of San Francisco forever before they stopped in a vacant building by the waterfront. They leapt through an open window and he tossed her to the ground roughly. She rolled a bit before she came to a halt. .  
"That hurt, you moron!" She retaliated crossly.  
  
"Now, now, is that anyway to talk to your Kingy?"  
  
"You will NEVER be MY King!" Jade shouted back in agitation.  
  
The monkey was swift and suddenly had her chin in a vice grip and she was nearly nose to nose with him. His eyes were very unfriendly and his breath was unpleasant. She didn't like being that close to him. She didn't like him to be touching her. She just didn't like him.  
  
"You WILL marry me and you WILL be my Queen!" The Monkey King snarled. Then tried to play good cop once more, "Besides, no one will tell you what to do when you're Queen!"  
  
"You'll always be telling me what to do!"  
  
"King's purgative, sweety!"  
  
"DON'T call me sweety!"  
  
"You can't order ME around! I'm your KING!"  
  
"NO YOU AREN'T!" Jade shouted back impotently, helplessly. He really was going to make her his Queen! This wasn't happening! Where was Black? Where was Jackie? Where was an adult when you really needed one?  
  
Black couldn't fire his gun. He was afraid he'd hit Jade. It was all he could do but watch the ape escape with the girl he had been sent to protect. Great. Criminal organizations he could deal with... one child and he was helplessly out of his element. He grabbed his cell and called up Jackie.  
  
Jade was tied up and the Monkey King paced back and forth before her.  
  
"Gotta find someone to marry us. Make it all official-like." He muttered.  
  
Jade listened to the King talk to himself morosely. She didn't want to get married. Not to the Monkey King, not to anyone! He was planning his wedding as if she weren't even there, even though she could hear every word he uttered. She knew any comment she made would only agitate him further. So far, he hadn't harmed her... but she didn't know how much longer that blessing would last.  
  
He tired of pacing and leaned against the windowsill, peering down on the street. He sighed. He didn't want to get married. Especially not to this young upstart who was nothing but trouble! But what else could he do? He wanted to stay free! He watched a group of men saunter slowly past them from below on the sidewalk. The Monkey King gasped. Suddenly a pair of ridiculously huge binoculars were pressed up against his eyes as he focused in on the group.  
  
"Oh, my! Oh my, my, my!" He turned into a scary rendition of the Joker, white face, red lips and green hair, "Stop the press, who's that?! I'm in love! Me! The Monkey King!"  
  
That got Jade's curiosity up. What was he babbling on about now? And since when did the Monkey King love anyone? She managed to maneuver herself close to the window and peered out and downward in the direction the Monkey King was ogling. She didn't see any women out on that particular street at that time. She scrunched up her face as she strained her eyes. Hey, those suits looked familiar... "Woah, it's the Dark Hand!"  
  
The Monkey Kings head shot up and he spun around looking like his normal self again. He grabbed her and shook her in his excitement, "Who is he? Do you know him? Who IS he?"  
  
He? Well, she didn't know the monkey swung that way. Who was he talking about, one of the Enforcers? "Um, which one are you talking about?"  
  
"Please! Tell me you know them! Tell me you can introduce me to the one in white!" He had her by her collar and she was amazed at the desperate look on his face.  
  
"I know them, I know them, sheesh! Calm down! The one in white? You mean Finn?" She asked disbelieving. No way could he have a crush on Finn. It was unreal!  
  
But the Monkey King's face melted and his eyes got all dreamy. "Finn. My, what a lovely name! Sits on your tongue like butter! Finn! Would a rose by the same name... yadda yadda yadda!"  
  
Jade screwed her face up in distaste. He really, truly WAS crazy! "Finn's a...guy, you know."  
  
"Du-u-u-h! Would a gorgeous creature like that have breasts?"  
  
"But... but, what could you DO with him? You're a guy too!" Then she decided she didn't want to know. Maybe if she helped him get Finn, he'd let her go. "Hey, I know them real good. You know, Finn likes disco."  
  
"Disco, huh? Groovy! I can totally dig that" The Monkey King sighed as he gazed out the window at the Enforcer below. "This is perfect! I'll have you as my Queen and him as my lover! What more could a King ask for?"  
  
Jade blinked. Well, this was partial good news. Did this mean that if he had Finn he wouldn't touch her? "What'll I do, then?"  
  
The Monkey King shrugged impatiently, "Cook and clean, like any other wife, of course! Now, be quiet, I must find a way to woo my beloved!"  
  
A sigh parted Jade's lips. She wondered just how disappointed in her he'd be if he found out she couldn't cook a thing?  
  
To Be Continued... 


	2. Part II

Monkey Business

Part II

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

A Jackie Chan Adventures Fanfic

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Jackie Chan and subsequent characters belong to Jackie Chan and associates. It'd be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I've made no profit nor will see any from this fic.

Summary: The Monkey King is back and to insure he's never turned into wood again, he must marry into royalty. But when he finds his reluctant Queen, he also falls in love for the first time with someone else.

Finn was walking ahead of the other Enforcers. It had been a while since they had last heard from Tarakudo, their oni-in-charge and so they spent their days trying to score a quick buck while they waited. After all, old habits were hard to break and after the financial fiasco of having Shendu in charge, they were sorely behind.

"Man, I gotta take a leak." Finn grimaced.

"There's a 7-11 just down this block. Hey, can we get some corn dogs there?" Ratso asked hopefully.

"If you got the money for it, knock yourself out." Finn replied.

"Well, we can always hold the place up after you finish." Chow said with a wicked glint in his eye.

"O-o-o-o, can we, Finn?" Ratso rather liked Chow's idea. "We can even take all the food we want!"

"Our cupboards ARE bare." Chow kicked a rock from his path as they strolled down the walkway.

Finn's stomach rumbled. He was used to always feeling empty, or at least, never having that very satisfied full feeling. Their money was tight. Achingly so. He grew up poor and the only reason he became an Enforcer in the first place was because it was a quick way to make a buck--- a lot of bucks. They had been very successful too, up to a point, and that point was Shendu and Jackie Chan. After that, things just had gone down hill and he and his companions were shuffled about from master to master as if they were being pimped out.

"Ammo's low too." Finn reminded them.

Chow shrugged, "Since when do you need ammo to hold up a convenience store? They do have those no retaliation, no chase policies in place now. Just have Ratso show some muscle and bingo, we're back in play!"

Finn shrugged. "I'm so goddamned tired of waiting upon the will of that friggen Oni! But what else can we do?"

"He'll cream us if we go AWOL." Ratso said morosely.

"But then again, he might not care one way or the other." Finn sighed unhappily.

They finally made it to the convenience store. They stood just outside, staring at it.

"Well? We going in to rob the place?" Chow asked prepared to go either way.

"Nah--- I really don't feel like running today."

Ratso looked disappointed but went in and paid for his corn dogs like any other good citizen and Finn went in to use the facilities. The place was relatively clean. Why did their own bathroom always cling onto that funky toilet bowl spit-up smell no matter what they tried? This place smelled like--- clean. He inhaled the pleasant scent deeply and contemplated lifting some of the places cleaning products for their own use.

When he opened the door and stepped out, he looked over at the next door down the hall that the restroom was at the end of. He would bet anything that was the janitorial closet and the cleaning supplies would be in there. He tried the knob and found it to be unlocked. Grinning, he opened it and found a closet full of cleaner. Just as he bent over to procure a few bottles, a sack was pulled over his head and tied securely about his neck.

"Hey!" His startled squawk was muffled by the bag. "What the Hell is going on?" He was then grabbed from behind and hoisted up into the air and he began to kick and swear furiously. "Chow! Ratso! Where the Hell are you?" He shouted angrily.

But there was no answer. Finn struggled and found his arms were being held from behind and it felt as if he was hoisted onto someone's back, his arms pulled backward and held in a steel-like grip. If he wasn't so pissed he'd be feeling embarrassed. After all, it was damn sloppy of him to let himself get kidnapped. He must look ridiculous.

He tried to kick at his attacker but it was no use. He was simply kicking empty air. But he did continue to curse a stream of creative colorful metaphors at his kidnapper. It didn't do anything for the situation but make him feel a little better. When he was dumped to the floor with a thud, he hurled forth another vicious curse and grabbed at the sack over his head. Once he got his bearings, he was going to offer some serious hurt to his captor. It did perplex him though that as soon as he hit the floor, the rousing tune of "Funky Town" assaulted his ears. Well, at least his kidnapper has some musical taste, he barely paused for the thought and soon the sack was off his head and onto the floor.

He stared as he sat sprawled there. The floor was lit up in bright, garishly colorful square lights, just like a disco club. Not to mention the spinning, glittering disco ball suspended from the ceiling casting its reflective light about the room. But other then those two aspects, the place didn't seem or feel like a real club. He couldn't figure out where the music was coming from and there were no other people in the room--- except--- and he swore aloud again.

"What the Hell is this?" He demanded of Jade when he saw her.

She was walking towards him, all scowls and had a shallow basket full of rose petals in one hand and was grabbing up petals and tossing them on the ground with the other, as if she were making a pathway for someone.

"I don't think you really wanna know." She told him and stood beside him reluctantly facing the path of petals.

"Kid, I'm not in the mood for this right now! I had no idea Chan would stoop to kidnapping."

"Chan has nothing to do with this, my dear thief in white!"

"Who the Hell is that?" Finn asked crossly.

"I? I am the Monkey King!" The Monkey King leapt down from a recess close to the ceiling and landed just a few feet away from Finn on the walkway of rose petals. He was dressed exactly as Finn, in white lounge suit and with pink undershirt and gaudy medallion.

"Good God!" Finn winced. "Trust a Chan to bring in the freaks." His life had been so simple and free from magical beings before he'd first run into Chan.

"Now, now, is that any way to talk to your beloved?" The Monkey King grooved down the runway of rose petals until he was standing in front of the bewildered Irishman.

"What are you talking about, beloved?" He turned his head and frowned at Jade, "And why the Hell are YOU here?"

"Speak not to my Queen in such a manner, my beloved, please. That's so gauche." The Monkey King smiled sweetly.

Finn snorted, "Queen? What the Hell? What's going on? I think I have a friggen right to know, dammit!"

"She's your Queen too, of course, first she and I have to make it all official and everything." The Monkey King said.

"My Queen? What? Why? And why you, kid? You're--- just a kid!" Finn demanded.

"She's the key to me busting out of my prison is why. Surely one of your persuasion could understand." The Monkey King replied in all sweetness which made Jade's stomach curl.

"I still don't understand what the Hell I'm doing here." He growled.

"I think that's for the best." Jade whispered which got her a sideways glance from the criminal.

"Well," The Monkey King said rather brightly, "I saw you from afar and I know a good thing when it bounces off my retinas!"

Finn quirked a red eyebrow, "Huh, you want--- my services?"

The Monkey King's grin was all teeth, "Most certainly!"

"What do you want me to steal?"

"But sir, you've already stolen something of mine!"

Finn frowned uncertainly, "Huh?"

The Monkey King placed both hands over his heart and sighed loudly, "You've stolen my heart!"

"I'm outta here." Finn growled when he got the gist and stood quite prepared to leave.

"Told ya you didn't wanna know." Jade said to him.

The Irishman wasn't happy. "I'm leaving you to your freak show, kid. I'm having no part of it!"

"But, did I ever say you had a choice? No? I'm sure I never said that. Did you hear me say that?" The simian asked of Jade.

"Don't ask me, I'm just the Queen." Jade sighed just as unhappily.

Finn bristled, "No one tells me what to do, dude!"

"Not even Valmont, Shendu, Daolong Wong, and Tarakudo?" Jade asked.

"That's different! At least they didn't make a pass at me!" Finn snarled at her.

The Monkey King suddenly had his arm companionably about Finn's shoulder and traced one blunt nailed finger down Finn's partially exposed chest. "Then those sad sacks were obviously very blind! How could they deny themselves the pleasure of your--- pleasure!"

Finn tried to pull away and Jade averted her eyes feeling uncomfortable with the Monkey King's fondling. Finn even moreso.

But the Monkey King held him close and continued to admire the mans chest, "With you at my side, you'll want for nothing! After all, have you heard? I'm a King! And no one says 'no' to a King, especially not his lover."

Finn paled. He couldn't be serious! "But, dude, you're--- a monkey. And well, you're a guy."

The Monkey King nodded pleasantly, "I love it when my lover's observant!"

"Heh, you have Jade, so what reason would you want me?" Finn tried to wriggle out of his predicament.

"Everyone needs a maid." The Monkey King snorted which ticked Jade off but for once she held her tongue. "But with you on my arm, people will stop and be amazed at my impeccable taste!"

"I--- I like girls though." Finn wanted to shrink away from that hand that was roving over his chest but the monkey's grip was sure and strong.

"Why? They do nothing but nag, nag, nag, am I right?"

"Hey!" Jade protested.

The Monkey King gestured at Jade, "See?"

"Come on! You get to be the King's consort! Wouldn't that be just too groovy?" The simian's hand was stroking Finn's pect.

Finn didn't like the fact that the simian was taking physical liberties with him already without a by-your-leave. He was about to pull away but the monkey grabbed him with both hands and drug him in close. Before he could shout a loud protest, the thing was lip locked with him.

Jade's eyes widened as she watched the monkey kiss a very surprised looking criminal. The simian seemed to be in heaven while Finn seemed to be in hell. The Monkey King held him close in his strong grip and even though Finn fought to free himself, he was held in place and was forced to endure the romantic overture. It was almost comical, Jade thought, if it wasn't so disgusting.

When the Monkey King let Finn go, the simian sighed blissfully. Finn on the other hand stumbled back a few paces and frantically rubbed his lips back and forth across his white sleeve, trying to erase the horrid memory and taste. The kiss had been long and would have been sensuous if not for Finn's squirming.

"Just a first taste of what pleasures are to be had down the road, my love!" The Monkey King sighed again and batted his eyes at the enraged Finn.

"To HELL with this! Screw you!" Finn spat. That had been the most disgusting thing that had ever happened to him! He was furious, and what was worse, his male ego had been bruised by the kiss. No way was that THING going to touch him ever again!

That made the monkey grin, "I fully intend you to!"

Finn backed up again, aghast. "Kid!"

"That's all I am to you people. A kid. What makes you think I can do anything about this anyway?" Jade said angrily. "Besides, better you then me!"

Finn shot her an evil look. "How'd he know my name in the first place, kid? I've never seen this--- thing before in my life!"

"My name's Jade, by the way, not kid. And to answer your question, he asked me and I told him." She said pertly.

"And the disco dance floor?"

Jade guiltily stared at her shoes, "Told him. You think I wanna be his consort?"

"So glad my two favorite people are getting along so swimmingly! Well, I'm off to find a preacher who'll marry me and my Queen!" He waved hugely at them, still grinning from ear to ear. "By the way, if either of you even THINK about escaping--- beware the mad bunny!" And he promptly vanished.

"Mad bunny?" Jade wondered aloud and then was aware she was trapped in a room alone with a dangerous criminal.

"I'm outta here!" Finn snorted.

"But--- I wouldn't put it past the Monkey King to put a killer rabbit on guard." Jade said, recalling the simians past antics well.

Finn waved her off. "Give me a break, dudette. If a freaky rabbit attacks, I'll just toss it some carrots, heh, or maybe even you."

"Sure would be better then being the Monkey King's Queen." Jade said dryly.

"I'd rather be the friggen Queen then his lover!" Finn sneered back.

Jade smirked, "I'd love to see you in a frock."

"Shut the Hell up!" Finn was not amused. "Have fun! I'm gone."

"If you're leaving, so am I." Jade told him.

"Fine, just stay the Hell outta my way."

Jade followed Finn across the empty dance floor. Finn couldn't help himself, once "Stayin Alive" was playing, he had to do the classic Travolta dance. Jade rolled her eyes. Soon after he continued across the floor, straightening his jacket. Jade followed and wondered about the Irishman's sanity.

They went down one hall but it just dead-ended into a couple of empty rooms. Determined, they went back and continued to look for the way out.

"No killer rabbit yet." Jade said.

"Dude, I told you, kid, I mean Jade, it was just a bluff!" Finn replied thinly as they walked and walked and walked. He hadn't realized the place was so big. But it didn't matter, he was going to get the hell out of that place and the hell away from that insane and disgusting simian. And the hell away from that Chan kid who was nothing but trouble.

"This way maybe." Jade suggested as they searched.

"Fine, this way." Finn grumbled and took her advice. The place was a friggen maze. His patience was wearing thin. He didn't know what he'd do if the simian came back before they were long gone. He had no intentions of going where no man had gone before with that crazy ape! At the end of the hall was another door. It had a nest of bolt locks on its wood frame, which was good news to Finn. It suggested it was the door leading to sweet freedom! Go figure it was the kid who had found it.

They made it to the door. Finn tried the handle and found it locked. Well, no matter, he was a genius when it came to picking locks! Granted, there were quite a few of them but he wasn't worried. Jade waited patiently as he went to work doing what he did best. Finally the last lock was picked and Finn grinned with triumph. He still had it!

"Freedom awaits!" Finn retorted and opened the door.

There, in the path to a monkey free life, was a giant, rabid-looking rabbit. It held a gattling mini gun and two belts full of ammunition strapped across its chest. It spied a frozen Finn and Jade who was peering out from behind the Irishman's legs. The muzzle of the anit-aircraft weapon was suddenly pointed at the two.

"Heh, wrong door." Finn laughed nervously and backed up. Jade backed up as well. Finn slammed the door shut and hit the deck. Jade did like wise and the door was suddenly being blown apart by the gun's spray. After the shooting stopped, Finn could feel like his heart could start pounding again.

"Looks like the right door to me." Jade said sardonically.

Finn gave her a dirty look. "Okay, so he DOES have a killer bunny."

"Told ya."

"Yeah, well I'm STILL getting the Hell outta here!" Finn said with all seriousness. "Bunny or no bunny!"

"Looks like I'm going to end up being Queen after all." Jade sighed dejectedly.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by flashing red lights and an automatic announcement was being broadcast in the hall.

"Warning! Warning! Unauthorized escape!"

"Hey," Jade noted, "That voice sounds exactly like the computer on the Enterprise!"

"Activate anit-escape plan! Have a pleasant day!" The female voice announced emotionlessly.

"That doesn't sound good." Finn muttered.

"Anti-escape plan? He never said there was one other then the rabbit." Jade said worriedly and risked a quick look around her.

"HEY!" Finn shouted and found himself entwined by metal tentacles that had somehow sprouted from the very walls. He tried to pull the things off but the more he worked at it, the tighter the grip became. More tentacles began to snatch at his clothes. "Dude!"

Jade didn't know whether or not she should try to help the thief. After all, he WAS a bad guy. But what if those things killed him? She couldn't just stand by and watch them do that. But if she did anything, she might get tangled up as well.

"Get the Hell off of me!" Finn shouted in frustration as he tried to keep his jacket. But as he struggled with that, he felt another pair of tentacles go to work of unbuckling his belt. "Oh shit!" Finn kicked out at the tentacles in desperation. But there were so many!

Jade's eyes widened. She really didn't want to see Finn stripped naked. She was just a kid, after all! She made a move towards Finn to see what she could do to keep him clothed, but a single tentacle snatched at her and wrapped itself tightly around her arms and waist. Jade kicked out and struggled but found it was all useless.

"Give that back!" Finn shouted as his pants were dragged off by a tentacle and disappeared. His jacket was next and then his pink shirt. He grabbed a hold of his boxers anxiously, being the only bit of clothing left to him except for his shoes and socks. "No way, no way, no way!" Finn repeated in agitated desperation. He was no one's sex toy unless he gave them permission! And that creepy simian had no permission whatsoever! Luckily, all but the tentacles holding him and Jade disappeared back into the wall. He sighed with relief as he was allowed to keep his trunks on at least. But his relief was short lived as the Monkey King sauntered through the door that was shot to Hell by the rabid bunny. He was dragging with him a man who was dressed in black with a white collar around his throat.

Jade paled. So, he managed to find a priest after all! The monkey took a quick survey of the damaged door then grinned as he saw his two prisoners.

"Oh, did I forget to mention the special anti-escape plan? My bad!" The simian replied with a touch of sarcasm. "Testing my patience is dangerous. Jade, you should have told my lover that. You, of all people know just how far I can take a joke."

"You're the joke, face-ache!" Finn snarled angrily at the chimp.

But the Monkey King just shook his head and 'tisked' at him. "Now, now. Don't worry, you'll get your punishment for your impertinence soon enough in bed, my love!"

The look of horror on Finn's face was priceless.

"Now for you, my Queen! Father, oh Father O'Mallery!" The Monkey King gently pulled forth the old priest who looked rather unsteady on his feet. Jade realized the man of the cloth was drunk. Make that VERY drunk. Probably the only way the monkey was able to get a priest up there in the first place.

"Yes-sh, me hairy son?" The priest slurred his words and leaned heavily upon the Monkey King for support. Jade wondered that the man didn't fall flat on his face.

"This is my bride to-be, Jade Chan."

The priest managed to pull his head up and checked Jade out through blurry vision. "Small thing, inn't she? 'Course, s'pose all Asian women are small."

Jade felt prickly at the obvious prejudice but only glared back at the two.

"Hey! What about me?" Finn said angrily from his position. "I want my clothes, dammit!"

"Now, hold your tongue, my love! Father's and children are present!" The Monkey King admonished Finn lightly, amused at the spectacle.

"Dammit to Hell!" Finn roared impotently.

"That's an additional punishment added to what you already have accrued, my love. My, you must want me to punish you very badly in deed!" The Monkey King's eyes sparkled with anticipation. He had thought about postponing the marriage to Jade just so he could play with his new toy in bed. But he had to get this marriage over with so he could stay around forever! But damn! Being with Finn intimately was a powerful enough draw to make him think twice about which to do first.

Finn didn't like the way the monkey's eyes roved over him. His heat-filled gaze fell to his crotch and Finn growled out and managed to cross his legs awkwardly, "Pervert!"

The Monkey King laughed, "That I am, my love!"

"Did someone say dessert?" Father O'Mallery blurted drunkenly. He swayed against the Monkey King who winced at the smell of the man's breath.

"Come to think of it, there's some cheesecake in the disco room." The Monkey King said idly. "Why not take my lovely bride with you and have yourself some cake. I--- have some business to see to with him." The Monkey King pointed at Finn. "Then we can continue with the ceremony."

"Oh my God!" Finn had a very bad feeling about this. He felt his manhood withering away as the Monkey King looked at him as one would look intimately at a lover. He squirmed. "Anything but--- that!"

Jade was being led away by the priest who could barely stand upright let alone walk in a straight line. She threw a look over her shoulder and knew there wasn't anything she could do to aid the thief. She felt sort of bad for him, but was relieved for herself at the same time. The longer the Monkey King spent with Finn, the longer she had time to plan her method of escape and the less interested in her he'd be. Finn already hated her, what was one more thing?

Finn found himself being lowered by the tentacle into the eager apes open arms. "This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening!" Finn refused to believe that he was about to be forced to sleep with that--- thing! Well, he wasn't going to do it! No matter the threat! No matter the torment! No matter what! He fell into the King's embrace and he couldn't keep back the blush that rosed his cheeks. Oh God! He felt the monkey's lips nibble at his ear lobe in an amazing act of tenderness. He tried to pull back but the simian had him locked in close and began to walk off with him in his arms.

"Where?" Finn asked mouth dry though he already had a feeling where they were headed next.

"My bed chamber, you lucky thing!" The monkey whispered heatedly into his ear so close Finn could feel the things breath.

Oh God! Finn thought in his head once again wildly. He was literally screwed!

To Be Continued---


	3. Part III

Monkey Business

Part III

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

A Jackie Chan Adventures Fanfic

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Jackie Chan and subsequent characters belong to Jackie Chan and associates. It'd be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I've made no profit nor will see any from this fic.

Summary: The Monkey King is back and to insure he's never turned into wood again, he must marry into royalty. But when he finds his reluctant Queen, he also falls in love for the first time with someone else.

(Author's Note: Beware! Furry lemon ahead!)

It all happened too fast for Finn to get a handle on it. One minute he was in the loving embrace of the Monkey King, the next he was thrown upon a bed and all four appendages cuffed to its posts. He felt a panic attack coming on.

The Monkey King hopped onto the bed, in between Finn's spread a part legs. The simian stroked Finn's bare right leg.

Finn was quivering in terror and tried his best to pull away, but the cuffs held true. He was utterly helpless before the ape.

"Listen, dude!" Finn hoped reasoning might work one last time, "What about Jade? I thought you were in a rush to get married!"

The Monkey King shrugged. "To her? No, not really. But my freedom relies upon my marrying royalty."

Despite his demeaning situation, Finn had to snort over that one. "Whatta joke. The kid? Royalty? She lies better'n quicker then I do!" Finn had to stall him. Get him talking, he didn't care about what, just so long as the ape wasn't having sex with him!

The Monkey King shook his head, "Not just 'cause she says, but I can sense it. Something about her, she was destined to be Queen."

That perplexed Finn, but at the moment, he didn't give too much of a damn. His manhood was at stake!

Finn laughed nervously, "So-o-o-o, what'd ya do with Chan? I mean, he wouldn't just GIVE her over to you." Finn knew that well enough and had wondered why the troublesome eleven year old was without her over protective guardians and a captive of the insane simian.

The Monkey King shrugged, "He wasn't on the premises, unfortunately. I do have a score to settle with that one."

Finn heard the obvious malice underlying the apes words and wondered what Chan had done to thwart the chimp--- probably plenty. But not enough to have kept the blasted creature from committing random acts of chaos and embarrassment.

"I have multiple scores to settle with Chan." Finn mumbled.

"Yes, my love, we have SO much in common!" The ape positively gleamed with pleasure and ran the tips of his fingers over Finn's bare leg again.

Finn shivered once more and he inwardly groaned. That was just great! Open mouth and insert foot, please sir!

"Heh, listen! I hardly know you! I don't jump into the sack with just any stranger!" A lie. A flat out bold-faced lie. How many times had he latched onto some utterly groovy women for a one-night stand? He was a stud and knew it and didn't mind neither flaunting nor sharing his wonder with other women. Everyone had a right to try out the Finnmeister! At least once, that is. But only women! Not--- this--- thing!

The simian smiled hugely and leaned over, closer then was comfortable to Finn. The thing began to crawl forward slowly, his dark brown eyes latched onto Finn's bright green.

"Please--- don't." Finn almost whimpered and pressed his head deep into the pillow, trying to draw back away from the creature.

The ape sighed and reached out, one finger traced along Finn's sideburn lovingly. Finn stared into those alien eyes. It was lunacy. The thing was enamored of him, absolutely and completely.

"I never say things nor do things like this." The monkey admitted. "You drive me to new levels, my love!"

The monkey was nearly nose to nose with him once more. They stared at one another for a few quiet moments.

"I bare myself to you!" The Monkey King confessed.

Finn strained to keep his distance from the thing, but it loomed over him and he had no place to hide. The Irishman closed his eyes tight and willed it to be over with quickly, if he had to endure it at all.

Instead of his lips being assaulted, he felt his neck being gingerly lipped. With his eyes closed, it was sort of easy to imagine it was a woman seeking to pleasure him. So that was how he chose to see it. In his mind, the monkey transformed into a blonde woman, full of vibrancy and eagerness, who's only thought was to pleasure him.

He felt a hand cup his groin. It was gentle, yet firm, but just the right touch.

Finn couldn't suppress a moan.

"Beloved!" The monkey breathed.

The King fell upon Finn, who kept his eyes and mind closed, but body open. It wasn't so bad, as long as he didn't think about it.

His boxers were ripped from his body. He bucked as he felt moist lips surround his member.

"Ah-h-h-h!" Finn warbled as the simian showed him pleasure he never thought was possible.

The blonde he imagined kept morphing into something terrifyingly alien. Her sensual lips turned into ape lips. Her luscious hair turned into scraggly beard and mane. But it didn't lessen the pleasure those attentions brought. Finn gasped. That blasted monkey seemed to know exactly WHAT got him off! He found it hard to breathe. God, he felt close to passing out! Rare was a woman who could do this to him!

Tongue, lips, saliva--- Finn was well accustomed to this sort of assault upon his manhood, but only from that of a woman. This was something else entirely! A distant part of himself told him this was wrong! Something very wrong with what was happening to him! But his other heightened state of ecstasy was overloading any of his sane senses.

God! What was happening to him! This wasn't right! This wasn't what he--- o-o-o-o-oh! Finn didn't know he had moaned again.

The King's teeth lightly grazed Finn's rod. It was pulsing hot, like a revving engine. He could taste the odd mixture of salt and musk, making his senses all muzzy. He worked over it faster. His heart beat hard in his chest. His excitement swelled his own throbbing member. Faster, ever faster!

And much to the Monkey King's pleasure and Finn's disembodiment, Finn bucked against his gratify-er. He felt the curling movements of the alien tongue against his rod. God!! Finn gasped for breath and fought for release. How could this--- thing! Bring him so much---

"A-A-A-AH!" Finn screamed at his release.

Finn spurted into the Monkey King's mouth and the simian eagerly lapped up the hot liquid. Finn panted, dazed and confused. How could a chimp know his innermost desires? How could he? How could Finn? Finn wanted to bury his face in his hands in embarrassment. But they were currently held back by the cuffs.

"I knew you would see the light!" The Monkey King positively glowed.

Finn wanted to melt--- to shrivel away from the obscenity, to wriggle free from the horror. Why, God? Why did he have to enjoy it? It was disgraceful!

"Such a flood of emotion!" The ape burbled in ecstasy. "Just as I had always imagined it would be with you! Oh the joy!" The thing babbled.

Finn was blushing furiously. How could he face anyone now? How could he face the world knowing he came to that horrible things attentions? Jade would make fun of him until the moon turned black. He wanted to curl up in a ball and become invisible. Why? Why did it come to this?

"Now, my beloved! I shall be wed! I so do wish you could be a part of the ceremony!" He hopped off the bed and gustily hummed the tune of the Wedding March and instantly sported a black tux and cummerbund.

Finn tried to come back to the land of the living. It was a difficult task. He was still trying to get his mind back from being blown to kingdom come. His mind swam in a euphoric miasma of pleasure and loss. He felt he'd lost something after the sexual encounter with the ape. It might not have been so bad except for the fact, the one fact he couldn't escape from--- that it had been wonderful.

When the door closed behind the simian, Finn released a shuddering sigh. He was still cuffed to the bed and utterly nude.

Jade took a hasty glance behind her waiting for the monkey man to get out of site and tip toed to the door opened it, and then wished she hadn't. She'd just unexpectedly gotten an eyeful of a very naked Enforcer. She immediately blushed and stared at her feet. In that quick glance she'd also noted that he was cuffed to the bed and his only means of escape were by the Monkey King's good humor and she doubted that ole Furface would release his prize anytime soon. If she were to get out of there and make it back home, she was going to have to have Finn's help.

She doubted he'd jump at the chance. But at the moment, it looked like his choices were few… out of the frying pan, and all that. Would he take her back home and risk being set upon by Captain Black? She didn't think he'd rather stay to become the Monkey King's consort. She smirked and hoped he'd see he had no choice. 

Quietly, she sneaked up to the edge of the bed. She could hear him softly crying to himself. She had to admit she felt kinda bad for him. It was sort of her fault he was here. She was the one that gave the prankster all the information she could about Finn. Once she got to the edge of the bed, she peaked over, making sure to shield the side of her face with her hand to keep from seeing Finn's nakedness close up. That was something she didn't think she needed to see again. It was firmly burned into her memory in him being the first naked male she'd ever seen outside of the textbooks they giggled at during school. Jade didn't think she could bring herself to giggle at this.

"Yo, Finn." She whispered, hand still blocking her peripheral vision.

Finn flinched and his head twisted around violently, eyes wide and red from crying out his misery. "Kid? I mean… Jade? What are…" He then remembered his state of undress, blushed and tried to draw his legs up in a pathetic attempt to hide himself, but they were still cuffed as well. "Get the hell outta here!"

Jade didn't move from the head of the bed, just shrugged. "Hey, if you want to stay and be the Monkey King's sexual plaything, then hey… that's your business. Okay… bye!" She smiled and waved at him, turning to leave. Oh man… she thought again as she got another eyeful of him accidentally by turning in the wrong direction and the blush was back.

"Wait… kid, I mean Jade! Please tell me you didn't come in here just to get a look at a nice piece of ass?"

She snorted. "As if! I need your help, you need mine. Simple as that. Now, you wanna be freed or what?" She held up a key to the cuffs.

Finn's eyes boggled. "Where'd you get those?"

The miniature Chan smirked. "I'm not that bad a pickpocket myself."

Finn stared in astonishment. "Damn, this just might work. Do it, kid, I mean Jade."

"Hold on… you have to promise first."

Finn felt panicked that the Monkey King could walk in at any moment. He would have agreed to walk up to Black and let the agent send him to jail if that was what she wanted if only he could get the hell out of there! And jail was second on his list of things he hated most, right below demons and demon sorcerers. Okay, third… monkeys were a new item firmly on the top… in more ways then one. "What! Whatever it is, okay! I agree! Just get me out of here!"

"Hey… keep your voice down or your lover will hear you!" Jade shushed him.

Finn winced at what she insinuated. Not such a dumb kid after all if she knew what had just happened in that room. Would his humiliation never end? At least she was climbing onto the bed and started to unlock the cuffs that bit harshly into his wrists. Finally, one hand was free and it flopped down to the side, aching. He tried to shake some life back into it as she crawled awkwardly over him to get to the other wrist.

"Ew-w-w. You're all sweaty." She icked as her hand slid across his chest. He sighed. "I didn't think you would be so muscley." She quipped as the key slid home.

He raised his eyebrow at the veiled compliment. "Just cause your unc' woops my butt doesn't mean I don't work out. I have no where near his training."

She crawled to the end of the bed and uncuffed each foot, being sure to avoid looking at his privates. Soon he was free and she stood there on the corner of the bed, staring down at his face. "If you joined us like Tohru did, I bet Jackie'd be willing to teach you."

Finn rubbed his wrists in sighed in relief. He sat up and grabbed a blanket then twisted and folded it so that he had a kind of loincloth.

"Look, I tried the nine to five bit… I'm not cut out for that kind of thing." He couldn't believe the kid was serious about the offer to join the Chan clan. Actually, the offer didn't sound wholly unappealing, but he didn't think he would be allowed to slide in quite as easily as Tohru had. "Let's worry about how we're going to get out of here for now."

Jade nodded and hopped off the bed, pocketing her cuff key. If Jackie knew about her talent of slight of hand, he'd go all mental, she knew. He was always carrying on about how the adventures they went on would teach her bad things. Jade always thought Jackie was way over protective. He couldn't protect her from what the whole world offered. And anyway, how would she know what was good if she didn't get introduced to the bad as well? She knew Uncle halfway agreed with her on that aspect. It was all yin and yang, after all. Maybe that's what Finn needed. All he had experience with was bad. Maybe if he was shown how much more rewarding being good was…

Finn had the door cracked open and was peering through it nervously.

"All clear." He waved at her to follow.

She had no choice but to be led by the Enforcer and hope that all his experience and her spunk would be enough to escape their prison.

To Be Continued…


	4. Part IV

Monkey Business

Part IV

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

A Jackie Chan Adventures Fanfic

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Jackie Chan and subsequent characters belong to Jackie Chan and associates. It'd be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I've made no profit nor will see any from this fic.

Summary: The Monkey King is back and to insure he's never turned into wood again, he must marry into royalty. But when he finds his reluctant Queen, he also falls in love for the first time with someone else.

(AN: Sorry for the long delay. This fic just wasn't cooperating for the longest time! I'd write a few paragraphs then I would be stuck again. I don't remember how I intended to end it so I'm not sure exactly how Finn and Jade will get out of this one… though a very naughty idea just came to mind!)

*****

Captain Black had the cell phone to his ear. "That's right, Jackie. A big, ugly, talking monkey came and snatched her. I have my best agents scouring the city for her now. I'm sorry, Jackie."

"It's the Monkey King." Jackie's voice over the line said and Black could hear the anxiety it contained.

He knew it was really bad and that Jade must be in real danger by Jackie's reaction. Of course, it wasn't everyday one had a talking, man-sized monkey seize the person you were charged to baby-sit… but then again, life with the Chan's wasn't exactly what one would call normal. Ever since the Shendu business, this kind of thing was common happenstance. "There's no need for you to come back just yet, Jackie. Once we get a lead, I'll let you know, but until then, there isn't really anything for you to do."

"But he's dangerous and has a chip on his shoulder bigger then Tohru!" Jackie sputtered.

"Jackie, I understand that… with the training Uncle gave our men-"

"Magic must defeat magic! And the Monkey King uses the darkest kind!"

"I thought the Monkey King was supposed to spread mirth and what-have-you." Black said.

"He is a chaotic force gone mad." Jackie replied unhappily. "No disrespect intended, Black, but your men aren't equipped to handle such uncontrolled energies. Imagine a creature that can alter reality at a whim. He can turn guns into bananas if he so wished."

Black felt like he let his friend down and in a major way. "Please, Jackie, let me try to do this my way. If we come up against something untoward… then we'll do it your way."

"Did the Monkey King say anything to you before he left?"

"Something about getting his queen… I think he meant Jade. Jackie? What was he talking about?"

"I don't know. I'll have to ask Uncle. Okay, Black, you're my friend so I trust you. I'll stay put for now… but call me when you find out anything, okay?"

Black could tell Jackie didn't like the plan at all but was going to go along with it anyway.

Back at the Monkey King's hideout, Jade and Finn were using a reinforced door as cover.

"Any idea on how to get rid of that damned rodent?" Finn sighed.

"You're asking me?"

Finn snorted. "You're the queen, remember?"

"Not yet and not ever if I have anything to do with it!" Jade grumbled. "A hand grenade would be nice right about now."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Finn cautiously peered around the door, eyeing the bad ass bunny that was patrolling the hallways. "Though I'd sure kill for some pants right about now."

"We'll go shopping after we get out of here. At least you still have your bling." She'd eyed his precious medallion.

Finn sighed and would have rather had his manhood remained unscathed. But that was long gone no thanks to that demented ape! He clutched at his sagging sheet and hiked it up a bit.

"Well, this isn't getting us anywhere… plus that damned ape is probably looking for us." Finn growled.

"How high up are we?"

The Enforcer shrugged. "I came here with a sack over my head. I don't even know where the hell we are."

"Well… I think we're at least four stories up. We came in from the rooftops."

Finn looked at her askance. "And just what are you suggesting? Us leaving the same way? Last time I could fly I was under Daolong Wong's spell."

"Yeah, what was up with that anyway?" Jade had always been curious about that.

"Like we had a choice?" Finn said, irritated with the memory. "He abducted us, dudette. Big V pissed him off and he turned us into his immortal slaves. And… we're wasting time here, you know."

Jade peered around the door as well. "Hey, it's gone!"

"Huh?" Finn glanced around the door again and his eyes widened. "Probably patrolling another area… this is our chance!"

"Yeah, to get blown up and shot at."

But Finn had no interest in waiting any longer. He stood up and made sure his make-shift loin cloth was a bit more secure.

"Well, I'm gonna go for it. Stay here if you want, Jade."

Against her better judgment, she reluctantly followed the Enforcer. The hall was indeed clear, no bunny, no tentacles, no problem.

"Weird. I wonder why the safe guards are turned off?" Jade whispered from behind the man clad in white.

"Donkey Kong must be preparing for the wedding, is my guess." Finn said with no humor. "And besides, I think he has other things on his mind."

Jade wasn't sure if she wanted to know exactly what the Monkey King had done to Finn. She'd never seen a grown man cry before and the fact that it had been the relatively tough guy in front of her gave her conflicting emotions. She never really saw him as anything but a bad guy who always got in the way before but now she was beginning to think of him as a human being with emotions and troubles like everyone else. He wasn't even really an Enforcer any more. Valmont's empire was defunct and had no hold over them.

She was dragged from her moment of enlightenment when Finn yelped in sudden pain and doubled over, his hands clasped against his shoulder.

"What is it, Finn?" Jade was behind him still so she couldn't see what was wrong.

"Stay behind me…" He managed in a strangled voice. Finn was still doubled over and gasping against the agony in his shoulder.

Frowning, she obeyed though her curiosity was killing her. Was Finn hurt somehow? She hadn't seen anything happen except for Finn's sudden antics one produces while in extreme pain.

"This hall's booby trapped." He finally managed to say and straightened up slowly. He leaned against the wall feeling a little shaky and unsteady.

"Oh, well that explains it." Jade said quietly. She peered around Finn's leg and looked up at the Enforcer, EX-Enforcer, she reminded herself. Then she gasped. "You have an arrow sticking out of your shoulder!"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Thanks for pointing that out to me, Jade. I might have missed it otherwise."

She frowned. "Well, so-o-o-rry, it's just not something I see every day, you know? Um, should we try to pull it out now?"

"Hell no! I could frigging bleed to death or something!" Finn scowled.

"It's your SHOULDER, and besides, it's your right one, not your left." She reminded him with arms crossed.

He snorted. "Yeah, well… it's MY shoulder, not yours! You're not gonna touch it!"

She shrugged. "Fine. Whatever. How did it get there anyway?"

"I think this is a nightingale floor."

She blinked at him uncomprehendingly.

"Look, don'tcha remember in Indiana Jones when he was in that temple and he stepped on the floor and the arrows came out of the walls?"

"O-o-o-oh!" She beamed, suddenly an authority.

"Great, glad we're on the same page for once." Finn said feeling agitated. His shoulder was throbbing and he was getting sick of this place. "So, we have to figure out where to step is all until we get to the other side."

"Oh, is THAT all?"

"I'm NOT turning back!" Finn hissed.

"You think I want to? Well, where were you when you got shot?"

Finn blinked at her light conversational pattern to his dilemma. He sighed and then inspected the floor just behind him. Then he stopped as he noticed a very tiny and funny symbol of a smiling ape he hadn't noticed before embossed on the tile he had stepped on a moment ago.

"Damned ape!" He growled.

Jade squatted to take a closer look at it. Then she glanced at the tile beside the one with the Monkey King's face. It had a bunny on it with its big gun.

"I don't think we want to step on this tile either, Finn." She pointed to the image. "Um, Finn…" She noted that she was on the section just before the nightingale floor seemed to begin while Finn was a few tiles into it.

Finn paled and froze in place when he realized what she was indicating. What tile was he standing on? With care and quite a bit of wincing from the pain in his shoulder, he peered as closely as he could to the tile he was currently on. It was blank. He sighed in heartfelt relief. Then he thought he should see if there were any other tiles that had nothing on them close by. He saw more monkeys and bunnies.

"Hey, I think that one's a disco ball." He pointed to one that was more then three feet away. It would be a long stretch, even for his long legs. Surely nothing bad could happen on one of his most beloved atmospheric enhancers, could it?

"If you want to give it a shot, be my guest."

"Dudette, don't say shot around me at the moment, 'kay?" Finn said grimly as his shoulder already gave him a constant reminder of his circumstance.

Jade was quite willing to hang back and watch. She didn't think she could make such a large step from tile to tile anyway. She watched as he made the long step and saw him cringe in anticipation of something bad happening to him. Instead a big disco ball was lowered down from the ceiling and began to turn. Lights hit it from somewhere and disco music permeated the air.

"Groovy!" Finn said clearly relieved. "You comin' kid? I mean, Jade?"

She still had her arms crossed and she looked at him with a 'you've got to be kidding' look. "I can't step that far."

Finn swore to himself. He hadn't thought of that. "Uh, well… I guess I could carry you or something." He said reluctantly. He supposed he owed Jade at least that since she had helped him out of the Monkey King's bed after all.

Jade stared at him in disbelief but after thinking about her other options but she found that was the only one open to her. Finn made it back to where she was standing. He stared down at her awkwardly then turned around and knelt down, making it clear that she was to ride piggy back. Getting the message, she crawled up and latched onto his back. In her scramble she'd accidentally hit the shaft of the arrow and heard a muffled groan of pain from Finn.

"Sorry."

"Just… be careful." He hissed back and stood up. He wrapped his arms around her legs so she wouldn't slip off.

Jade held on with her arms around Finn's neck feeling awkward herself. She scanned the floor as Finn leapt from tile to tile. Some were close together but most were almost impossible distances apart. At one point Finn over balanced and had to use the wall to keep from falling over onto a myriad of dangerous looking tiles. His heart was pounding.

"Come on, Finn. Don't stop now, we're almost to the end of the floor!"

Finn was sweating. He really wasn't looking forward to getting shot again. There was no way he was going to hurry this.

"It ain't as easy as it looks, ya know." He grumbled and stood upright once more.

"Ew, I got your blood all over my hand." Jade said seriously grossed out.

Finn was not amused. "So sorry for the inconvenience." He bit back sarcastically. "I'll try to watch where I bleed in the future."

"You're stalling."

"I'm frigging tired! I've lost blood! This takes frigging effort!"

He sure is testy, she thought. After a few more moments of catching his breath, he continued forward. Jade was right though. He could see where the nightingale floor ended. He couldn't trust it though. Once they had the tiles figured out their journey had been incident free.

Jade noticed he was hesitating again. "What?"

"It's just… there has to be something waiting for us once we get there, I know it."

Jade was peering over his left shoulder. She could understand his reluctance. "Well, we'll never know if we just stand here."

"I'd almost prefer the bunny over the Monkey King." He admitted.

"Maybe if you take its gun." She suggested.

Finn snorted at the child's audacity but once the idea sunk in he sort of liked it. He was pretty good with a gun. He'd certainly feel safer. He looked down at the tile in front of the one he was standing on. It was the bunny tile. He glanced at Jade.

"Up to you." She said unhelpfully.

He sighed tiredly. "I'm not up to wrestling a six hundred pound bunny at the moment."

"Well… we gonna get out of here or what?" Jade said feeling a bit impatient.

"Or what?" Said a withering and familiar voice from behind them.

To Be Continued…


End file.
